Tag Archives: California

Play at your own risk.

I am woman

I am woman

I am a man

I am a man

I can fit in a big girl box.

Why hello! It’s been awhile.  I hope you are still there. You may have wondered (worried?) that I stopped fitting in things. Not to fear! I have been fitting in things as the spirit strikes me. But I have a j-o-b, which has absorbed ALL of my time this year. I have a backlog of at least ten things I’ve fit in, but didn’t have time to post. Plus fan submitted pics!

What to start with? What significant thing happened this year? Well, I turned 40. And for my 40th birthday my man got me a big girl bike (my other bike is a convenient but dorky Dahon commuter folding bike). Can I fit in the bike box? Why yes, yes I can.

bike a - Big Girl Bike!

Big Girl Bike!

bike b

bike c - team lift

Practicing my side plank

Practicing my side plank

bike e

Hey there - plenty of room in this awesome box.

Hey there – plenty of room in this awesome box.

Special thanks to my trusty assistant – the man with the two red shoes.

I can fit under the Excelsa Quartet

Not only are these East Coast gals smart, funny, and babealicious, they play stringed instruments – FRETLESS*!!

*Warning: general fretting may occur on a daily basis. 

Anyway, this was the end of a long week for Valentina, Laura, Audrey and Kacy. They performed, like, 62 concerts in 9 days. 4realz yo.

1.Excelsa

Are Audrey’s cheekbones amazing or what?

2. Excelsa

I call this the “Red-eye Removal doesn’t work on Satan’s glowing orbs.”

3. Excelsa

HEY EVERYBODY I USED TO KNOW OR HOOK UP WITH IN D.C. – Go see one of their concerts.

There, that should boost attendance.

Special thanks to my trusty assistant Jim.

This end up.

Special thanks to my trusty assistant David. David’s first job as intern was to put together my new filing cabinet and then carve eye holes in the box. You’ll go far David.

IMG_2045

IMG_2047

I Can Fit in a Firetruck

This post has been smoldering for awhile. It took a few months to sniff out the photos (note to self: use only my camera).

A great thing about my neighborhood is that everybody knows each other. We have a neighborhood contact list. And block captains. And block parties. I have never experienced this before.

On Independence Day they (the block captains?) get a permit to shut down the street to cars, and everybody brings food, and one of the People With Children rents a bouncy castle for the whole neighborhood, and everybody gets drunk by noon on Chardonnay, and nobody has to drive anywhere. It’s fun, in a suburbia kind of way. And people seem to like us.

Anyway, there’s an initiative here on the peninsula to raise awareness about the dangers of fireworks – like hey don’t shoot off bottle rockets and accidentally burn down an entire wilderness area. If you contact the fire department and let them know that you’re having a block party, they’ll send a firetruck to visit your block.

firetruck 1

As this is a Public Relations effort, only the hottest of firefighters are out representing the department. Kids love it!firetruck 2

The ladies love it. firetruck 3

I too approached the handsome fireman for a picture. firetruck 4

But I would never objectify men. There is another item on the agenda. firetruck 5

Note: The key here is Surprise. If you ask permission ahead of time, people tend to come up with a reason to say No. But if you ambush someone with a strange but innocuous request, they’ll say yes before they can think of a good reason to say no. But you have to be fast about it. Hence, Flash Fitting. Take this guy for instance. He’s like, “What the F is going on here in the suburbs?” firetruck 6   firetruck 7 Happy 4th of July!

Who can fit in a cello locker? Nina and me.

What’s behind door number one?

What’s behind door number three?

It’s a cello, it’s a Sara, it’s a Nina Lee!

locker 1

locker 2

locker 3

locker 4

locker 5

locker 6

locker 7

locker 8

locker 9

locker 10

 

Special thanks to my trusty assistants Tiffani, Drew, Nick, and Kim.

Do Not Try This At Home

Do not try this at home! There was a moment of panic for my trusty assistant Jessie who thought I actually might suffocate. Not to worry; we had a safe word – Shazam!

Bag a

Bag b

Bag c

Bag d

Bag f

Bag g

Bag h

Bag i

Bag j

Bag k

Thank you Jessie!

trusy assistant Jessie

How to Decorate for the Holidays: Do Your Thing

poinsettia 1

Poinsettia, a poem by Marigold

For Christmas cheer the sepals sing

Red carols veined in holly green,

Potted plant, just do your thing,

And hide dark corners rarely seen.

In Sunday’s colours primp and preen,

With hot-house glitz, be-ribboned bling,

And over manger, gently lean,

Poinsettia, just do your thing.

poinsettia 2

Happy Holidays every one.

I Can Fit in a Korg Keyboard Case

More fun at work!

Keyboard a

Keyboard bDisclaimer: I don’t believe in sweater vests. Even though I am wearing one in these pictures, I still think they are stupid. It’s cold enough for a sweater but not for covering my arms? Or it’s warm enough for a t-shirt, but my boobs have a chill? I only bought this sweater vest because it was on sale at a vintage shop near Haight Ashbury and I thought it was cute and somehow temporarily forgot what a ridiculous item of clothing it is. All day I felt sort of cold and was also sweating and itchy.

Keyboard c

Keyboard d

Keyboard e

Keyboard f

What’s great about this last one is that you can see what a Miss Bossy Pants I am shouting directions at my co-worker even though he has basically just trapped me inside a zipped ventilation-less container. Thank you to my trusty assistant Nick!

I Can Fit Under a Bar Stool

Perhaps not my best decision ever. But this tall drink of water Heidi Aphrodite* whom I met while out having adventures with Tiffany-who-loves-karoake challenged me to fit under a bar stool and I was all, “Yeah, I can do that in about 4 seconds.” Which I did. But folks, I can’t advise you to do the same. Thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster there wasn’t gum or ahem somewhere on that chair.

*Note: Heidi Afrodite would be an amazing drag queen name.

Royalties please.

bar stool 1

bar stool 2