Tag Archives: California

This end up.

Special thanks to my trusty assistant David. David’s first job as intern was to put together my new filing cabinet and then carve eye holes in the box. You’ll go far David.

IMG_2045

IMG_2047

I Can Fit in a Firetruck

This post has been smoldering for awhile. It took a few months to sniff out the photos (note to self: use only my camera).

A great thing about my neighborhood is that everybody knows each other. We have a neighborhood contact list. And block captains. And block parties. I have never experienced this before.

On Independence Day they (the block captains?) get a permit to shut down the street to cars, and everybody brings food, and one of the People With Children rents a bouncy castle for the whole neighborhood, and everybody gets drunk by noon on Chardonnay, and nobody has to drive anywhere. It’s fun, in a suburbia kind of way. And people seem to like us.

Anyway, there’s an initiative here on the peninsula to raise awareness about the dangers of fireworks – like hey don’t shoot off bottle rockets and accidentally burn down an entire wilderness area. If you contact the fire department and let them know that you’re having a block party, they’ll send a firetruck to visit your block.

firetruck 1

As this is a Public Relations effort, only the hottest of firefighters are out representing the department. Kids love it!firetruck 2

The ladies love it. firetruck 3

I too approached the handsome fireman for a picture. firetruck 4

But I would never objectify men. There is another item on the agenda. firetruck 5

Note: The key here is Surprise. If you ask permission ahead of time, people tend to come up with a reason to say No. But if you ambush someone with a strange but innocuous request, they’ll say yes before they can think of a good reason to say no. But you have to be fast about it. Hence, Flash Fitting. Take this guy for instance. He’s like, “What the F is going on here in the suburbs?” firetruck 6   firetruck 7 Happy 4th of July!

Who can fit in a cello locker? Nina and me.

What’s behind door number one?

What’s behind door number three?

It’s a cello, it’s a Sara, it’s a Nina Lee!

locker 1

locker 2

locker 3

locker 4

locker 5

locker 6

locker 7

locker 8

locker 9

locker 10

 

Special thanks to my trusty assistants Tiffani, Drew, Nick, and Kim.

Do Not Try This At Home

Do not try this at home! There was a moment of panic for my trusty assistant Jessie who thought I actually might suffocate. Not to worry; we had a safe word – Shazam!

Bag a

Bag b

Bag c

Bag d

Bag d

 

Bag f

Bag g

Bag h

Bag i

Bag j

Bag k

Thank you Jessie!

trusy assistant Jessie

How to Decorate for the Holidays: Do Your Thing

poinsettia 1

Poinsettia, a poem by Marigold

For Christmas cheer the sepals sing

Red carols veined in holly green,

Potted plant, just do your thing,

And hide dark corners rarely seen.

In Sunday’s colours primp and preen,

With hot-house glitz, be-ribboned bling,

And over manger, gently lean,

Poinsettia, just do your thing.

poinsettia 2

Happy Holidays every one.

I Can Fit in a Korg Keyboard Case

More fun at work!

Keyboard a

Keyboard bDisclaimer: I don’t believe in sweater vests. Even though I am wearing one in these pictures, I still think they are stupid. It’s cold enough for a sweater but not for covering my arms? Or it’s warm enough for a t-shirt, but my boobs have a chill? I only bought this sweater vest because it was on sale at a vintage shop near Haight Ashbury and I thought it was cute and somehow temporarily forgot what a ridiculous item of clothing it is. All day I felt sort of cold and was also sweating and itchy.

Keyboard c

Keyboard d

Keyboard e

Keyboard f

What’s great about this last one is that you can see what a Miss Bossy Pants I am shouting directions at my co-worker even though he has basically just trapped me inside a zipped ventilation-less container. Thank you to my trusty assistant Nick!

I Can Fit Under a Bar Stool

Perhaps not my best decision ever. But this tall drink of water Heidi Aphrodite* whom I met while out having adventures with Tiffany-who-loves-karoake challenged me to fit under a bar stool and I was all, “Yeah, I can do that in about 4 seconds.” Which I did. But folks, I can’t advise you to do the same. Thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster there wasn’t gum or ahem somewhere on that chair.

*Note: Heidi Afrodite would be an amazing drag queen name.

Royalties please.

bar stool 1

bar stool 2

Trash Pile!!!

LOOK WHAT I FOUND!

I can fit in there and there and there and there and there.

Trash Pile a

Trash Pile b

Trash Pile c

Trash Pile d

Trash Pile e

Trash Pile f

Trash Pile g

Trash Pile h

Trash Pile i

Trash Pile j

Trash Pile k

THANK YOU and extra hugs to art director / photographer extraordinaire / trusty assistant Velda.

I Cans Fit With Bottles & Cans

Roses are red

Recyclingbins are blue

I can fit in

I bet you could too.

hmmm…

That “new trash can smell”

I’m sure it was swell.

It didn’t last long.

Is that egg foo yong?

recycling 1

recycling 2

Does my left eyebrow look weird like that in person?

**Thank you to my trusty assistants Kim & Kevin.**

I Can Fit in a Marimba Box

The marimba is musical instrument in the percussion family. It consists of a set of wooden bars with resonators. The bars are struck with mallets to produce musical tones. The bars are arranged as those of a piano, with the accidentals raised vertically and overlapping the natural bars (similar to a piano) to aid the performer both visually and physically. This instrument is a type of xylophone, but with broader and lower tonal range and resonators.

Also, a marimba is delivered in a 500 lb. box.

Marimba A

Marimba B

Marimba C

Marimba D

Marimba E

Marimba F

Marimba G

Marimba H

Marimba J

Marimba M

Marimba N

Marimba O  Marimba P

Marimba Q

Big thanks to my trusty assistant Kevin.